Sexting is exactly what you think it is. It’s the process of sending sexually explicit messages, photos, videos, or even voice messages via text. Some people may cringe at such a risqué activity, but it’s actually very popular across most age groups — they just haven’t figured that out yet!
There are plenty of reasons why people might choose to sext. Whatever the reason, sexting is a quick and discreet way to communicate with someone, whether you just want to send flirty messages to a potential new partner or initiate a hot time with your long-time partner. It’s also a way to get sexual gratification without having to actually be in the same room as them. Keep in mind that sexting isn’t just limited to people you know in real life. There are thousands of websites dedicated to providing online users with the best sexting experience possible. As long as both parties are consenting and enjoying it, there’s no wrong reason to sext.
However, if you’re not one of the gifted few when it comes to sexual innuendos, you may end up making things awkward. Fortunately, it’s never too late or too difficult to learn how to sext.
The Beginner’s Guide to Dirty Talk
The idea is straightforward enough, but it’s actually not as smooth as you think it goes. If you’re reading this right now, then you’ve probably had a not-so-ideal experience with the person at the other line.
Even if you’ve gotten the hang of sexting, that doesn’t mean there’s no more room for improvement. Think about it. Do you remember the first time you had sex? It might have been fun, but it was probably far from perfect. It’s the same with sexting. You can have fun the first time, but that doesn’t mean you can’t up your game. Practice makes perfect, after all.
You can always explore sexting on your own, but it doesn’t hurt to listen to the prowess of more experienced sexters. That said, here are a few sexting tips to keep in mind.
Do
1. Make Sure You’re Sending to Your Sexting Partner
Sending messages to the wrong person is a common mistake people make. Normally, you can provide your apologies for the error and laugh it off. However, sending raunchy messages to family members or co-workers is an entirely different ballpark. You should always make sure that your message is addressed to the right person before sending anything. It also helps if your sext partner is the lone person you talk to on the platform you’re using. That way, it significantly lessens the chances of you sending a nude to another person by mistake.
It’s not just hackers you should be worried about. The bad guy who ends up spreading your nudes to everyone you know could very well be the sext partner you’re sending them to. Don’t send any nude photos of yourself unless you’re positive that your partner won’t share them with anyone else.
Even with a reliable partner on your hands, be sure to still think about what you’re sending. There’s no guarantee that they won’t share them, but it’s a risk you take when you trust someone. You should always remember that once something is sent, it can never be completely deleted.
2. Respond Quickly
When you start a sexting session with someone, you should be able to reply promptly. Make sure you’re not busy at work or swamped with chores. Nothing can kill the sexual tension faster than your partner leaving you on delivered for ten minutes at a time, let alone an hour of unresponsiveness. Taking too long to respond can give rise to awkwardness or misunderstandings, especially if your partner is completely focused on the task of sexting. Don’t be afraid of replying fast, either — this isn’t like dating where you have to calculate your every move! In fact, it can be a turn-on for your partner to know that you’re enthusiastic about what’s about to unfold.
At the same time, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t think about what you’re going to say. Take a few moments to gather your thoughts and how you’re going to phrase them in the sexiest way possible.
3. Pace Yourself
Keep the momentum but don’t rush it! There’s a time and place for a quickie, but incorporating it in sexting is not it. Most women know that the fun of sex is in the foreplay. Being in a horny mood doesn’t always come naturally, so you have to make sure both of you are on the same page — or at least are headed towards that. You don’t just jump into the sex without the proper build-up. The same is true for sexting.
When sexting, it is important to pace yourself. Don’t send too many sexting messages at once at the risk of overwhelming your partner, which can turn them off completely. Instead, you can start off slow by telling them what you are about to do or what you want to do to them. There’s only so much you can do with sexting, so make every moment count! Take your time and enjoy the ride. Sexting is not a race.
4. Master the Art of Talking Dirty
Sexting is like toying with someone’s imagination. You need to learn how to paint a graphic image for them to visualize. This is where dirty talk comes in. It lets you go outside the box and be as creative as you can. Don’t hesitate to be lewd! Let loose. The worst thing you can do is feel self-conscious about what you’re saying in the middle of sexting. Trust us — your partner isn’t making fun of your word choices on the other end of the line. They’re too busy pleasuring themselves at the picture you’re painting!
For some inspiration, you can check out gay chat sites to learn new sexting lines. Be as creative and graphic as you can with your dirty talk, but don’t just limit it to roleplaying! There’s a common misconception that sexting is a scene-by-scene play of what otherwise would be sex in real life. Although this can be a great way to let your imagination run wild, there’s no harm in acknowledging the fact that both of you are limited to sexting at the moment.
Instead of “about to eat your pussy now,” try “show how wet you are for me.”
Instead of “you fill me up so good,” try “wish these were your fingers inside me.”
See the difference? Honesty with the situation can go a long way. The two examples are taking advantage of the medium of sexting by vocalizing just how much you’re yearning for your partner. This is because sexting isn’t just a simple imitation of real-life sex. It can be an entirely separate art form altogether.
5. Learn to Read Between the Lines
This sexting tip is crucial for guys. Some women are not as vocal about what they really want. What they do instead is send out clues. You need to learn to read between the lines so you can follow the direction your partner is heading in. If you’re not sure what your partner is looking for, ask!
However, that doesn’t mean women should expect men to do the work of figuring out what they want without saying it. It’s also important to be clear about what you want and what you’re comfortable with, otherwise it’s unfair to put men in a position where sexting becomes more of a frustrated guessing game than an actual sexy time.
6. Maximize the Various Sexting Languages
Gone are the days when sexting used to just be one crude word after another. Today. sexting can come in various languages — and if your partner is a millennial or Gen Z, then you’re more likely to encounter what we mean.
Not knowing these different sexting languages can lead to confusion and ruin the atmosphere you’re trying to create. Take time to learn these languages by spending time on a free sexting chat site like ours. You can slowly introduce the new things you’ve learned to your partner to ensure that you’re speaking the same language.
Acronyms can mean entire sentences, which you’re likely already familiar with. You have GNOC (get naked on camera), RUH (are you horny), and TDTM (talk dirty to me). However, these are less common ever since visual faces have captured what we say and how we mean to say it. Yes, even those cute little emojis can be naughty.
The most common emoji sex code include the eggplant (penis), peach (ass), tongue sticking out (genital licking), water droplets (bodily fluid), smiling devil (horny), and classic wink (invitation to sex). In some cases, sexters would also combine two or three of these emojis in a row to tell a story. If a peach and a telephone emoji are sent simultaneously, then it means your partner is asking you to come over for a booty call. If a pointed finger and an okay hand are sat beside each other, then it means your partner wants to have penetrative sex.
However, proceed with caution with emojis. If a picture can paint a thousand words, so too, can emojis with its various connotations. There’s no one clear explanation of what a certain emoji sex code is meant to be, so make sure you view those little yellow faces in the same way!
7. Clean Up Your Room Before Taking Pictures
This is a bit of a personal preference, but it’s always a good idea to tidy up your room before taking nude photos. Not only will it make the room look neater, but it will also help you feel more confident and in control. Make sure the door is also locked if you’re worried about someone walking in on you.
Look, this needed to be said, considering the horrors we’ve seen in other people’s sexting experiences. Most people put all their attention and energy into how they look when taking sexy pics. Yes, your partner will likely focus on you more, but a dirty background can easily ruin the mood. There’s nothing sexy about an untidy and unkempt room.
8. Have Nudes Ready For The Next Sexting Session
Let’s be honest — there are times when we want to engage in sext without having to go through the trouble of taking sexy pictures. Unless you have a body like the Kardashians, you’ll have to spend a great amount of effort finding the most appealing perspectives to make your body look the best it can be. Even if you are in a frisky mood, there will inevitably be days when you feel short on looks, which can hinder you from sending pictures to your partner during sext. That said, it can be worthwhile to take nude pictures during moments when you’re most feeling yourself.
That way, you can have a bunch of sexy pics on hand that are ready to be sent anytime. Another benefit of being prepared is that you can entertain your horny partner even if you’re not in the mood to sext. Just send them something that they haven’t seen before — that will surely help them reach climax even without the active sexting!
9. Keep Your Chats Safe and Secure
Sexting is all fun and games until your nudes get leaked to everyone you know. Fortunately for you, there are simple steps you can take to keep your sexting safe and secure. You can start by making careful thoughts about the kind of messaging platform you’re using. Instead of sexting over iMessage, Snapchat, or Messenger, try other lowkey messaging apps like Signal, Wickr, and Telegram to keep sexts private. Don’t just bank on the false sense of security that Snapchat brings with its screenshot notification since there are plenty of ways to go around it.
It’s worth pointing out that Signal, Wickr, and Telegram aren’t made with sexting in mind, but if it helps keep sexually explicit material under covers, why not? These apps use end-to-end encryption to protect your messages from being intercepted. The latter two also include a feature that allows you to control how long your sexting messages can remain visible to the recipient. For that double layer of protection, you can also delete conversations on your end and keep your phone locked when not in use.
iCloud is another thing to watch out for. Make sure your iCloud setting is turned off. If not, you have to take the extra steps of manually removing all synced nudes there. You should also avoid sending messages on a sex chat online when you’re using public Wi-Fi. Always put security at the top of your list when sexting for your protection.
Don’t
1. Don’t Send Nudes Without Asking for Permission
Sexting should be consensual, even if it’s with someone you’ve known for a long time. The same goes for sending lewd pictures. This is because it can make the recipient feel uncomfortable or even violated. In most countries, it is even considered harassment that is punishable by law.
Some might say that asking for permission can ruin the mood. Although this is often considered a cop-out reason to avoid asking for consent, it is a valid one. Fortunately, there’s a smooth way to go around it without having to pause the heat to ask for permission. You should be able to tell how on board they are by the way your partner responds to your initiatives. If your partner isn’t as excitable as they usually are, then take that as a gentle no to your invitation. Even regular sext partners can have bad days where sending nude pictures is the last thing they would want to do.
Ultimately, anything you get that isn’t an enthusiastic “yes” is a “no.”
2. Don’t Show Your Face When Sending Nude Pictures
This is one of the most important tips for sexting. Don’t ever show your face in the picture. The last thing you want is for someone to recognize you from your nude picture on the off chance that it leaks online. It isn’t just your face that you should be mindful of: you should also avoid photographing any identifying marks on your body, such as birth marks, tattoos, or scars.
We get it — it’s incredibly sexy to put a face to a body. It makes sexting feel so much more real and intimate, especially with a stranger, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
You should also consider using a different email address or phone number when sexting with strangers just in case they decide to leak your nudes. That way, they won’t have much hold against you since they don’t know about your private life.
The harsh truth is that when you send someone your nudes, they can do whatever they want with it. They can even post them online without you knowing it. Without your face in it, there’s always plausible deniability. It becomes a game of he-said-she-said, but that’s better than being completely helpless and at your partner’s mercy.
3. Don’t Sext and Tell
No one likes a loud mouth — the same etiquette goes for sexting with someone you know in real life. Sure, you might not show your friend your partner’s nudes, but telling them about your sext can be just as disrespectful if your partner was explicit about keeping the session private between you two.
In addition, it can come off as arrogant to tell others about something so intimate. When your partner trusts you enough to send a nude to you, then it also follows that they trust you enough not to let anyone else know about the exchange. Unless you have your partner’s clear permission, it is best to keep your mouth shut.
4. Don’t Throw Caution Out The Window
In this day and age, it’s easy to find a sexting partner to get frisky with. However, you shouldn’t let the convenience of the internet blind you from exercising the right protocols to protect yourself — and we aren’t just talking about leaked pictures.
There are a few legal considerations you should take note of, starting with making sure to always check the person’s age, especially if the exchange is over the internet. We cannot stress how important this is. You can go to jail for sexting with someone who is not of legal age. If the person claims to be over 18 but you still feel in your gut that they could be a minor based on how they talk or how they look, don’t engage with them. If they so much send you a nude without your approval, you could still be charged for being in posession of child pornography if the picture auto-saves on your phone.
Another thing: if you have a weird kink or fetish, it is recommended that you keep it hidden at first. Just like in real life, it could push your partner away when they aren’t ready to hear about it yet. What you can do is gradually test the waters if your partner is okay with it. If not, you can find someone else who is — just make sure the kink or fetish is only weird, not illegal.
5. Don’t Sext With Others if You’re in a Monogamous Relationship
If you’re in a monogamous relationship, it’s pretty simple — don’t sext with anyone else! It’s 2022. The definition of cheating isn’t just limited to physical contact with someone else. It can also manifest in smaller ways like the urge to hide something or the flirty exchanges with online strangers. However, what one person may consider to be cheating might not be considered as such by another. Some couples may consider sexting to be a form of infidelity, while others may not see it as a big deal. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide whether or not sexting counts as cheating.
If you haven’t had that important conversation with your partner yet, err on the side of caution and find your release elsewhere that doesn’t involve a third party.
6. Don’t Say Thank You
This is quite a specific one to take note of. One of the worst things you can do is congratulate or thank someone after a successful round of sexting. Your partner didn’t give you a gift or buy you dinner. There’s no reason to be sentimental about it, no matter how pleased you are.
If you’re really keen on repaying them, just make sure to be extra attentive to them in the next exchange. That’s the best way you can “thank” someone for a good time.
Level Up With Your Sexting Partner Today
Sexting can be really fun, but it can also be dangerous with the risk of harassment, leaked nudes, or child pornography. Make sure to always take precautions and most importantly, don’t do anything you don’t want to do!
Following our list of do’s and don’t’s of sexting can take your sex life to a whole new level. At the end of the day, it isn’t about how descriptive or graphic you are about wanting to ravage your partner’s body – it’s about letting them feel hot and wanted.
