As we have entered the digital age, more and more queer men have taken to using hookup apps, gay sexting sites, and free gay chat rooms. However, as with any new form of communication, people have had to come up with the rules for sexting as they went along.

Fortunately for you, after a lot of trial and error, we now have some pretty standard do’s and don’ts for gay sex chat. Whether you prefer sexting only or like to sext and then meet up, the rules of thumb below will help you stay safe and reduce awkward moments to a minimum.

The Do’s

1. Take It Slow

When sexting, you should not assume that the other person is game for anything. They might be new to this whole thing or simply have different sexual preferences than you. If you push too hard too soon, you risk shocking or putting off your chat partner. Either way, it’s a definite passion killer.

To ensure that doesn’t happen, start slow and take some time to get to know him. Ask him what kind of kinks he’s into and what he’s looking for in a gay sex chat. Then, take your cue from his answers and see where that takes you.

2. If You Send Nudes, Crop Your Face Out

Never forget that once you send that nude pic out into the world, what happens to it afterward is no longer under your control. Even if you are 100% comfortable with your chat partner seeing your face, don’t risk it. You can never know who that person is and what their real motivations are. Many people become victims of blackmail or have their images used for pornographic purposes without their consent. It’s best to save the nude pics for your committed relationships.

3. Assume Other People Will Also See Your Pics

Again, you never know whom you might be talking to. What’s more, you’d be surprised how many people don’t take sex chat confidentiality seriously. So you can safely assume that whatever images you send to your chat partner, everyone and their dog will get to see them too. Therefore, make sure you are comfortable with any pics or videos you share with your sexting partners reaching a much wider audience.

The Don’ts

1. Don’t Send Unsolicited Videos or Images

This one is a corollary of rule number one: take it slow. Even if your chat partner is genuinely looking forward to some sexy time, they might not be ready to see a graphic close-up of your schlong just yet. Pick your timing wisely, and always ask for consent before sending any explicit material.

Oh, and while we’re at it, it might be a good idea to store all your sexy pics in a password-protected app on your phone. You really don’t want your aunt taking an accidental sneak peek while browsing through photos of your summer holiday.

2. Don’t Say You Are Up for Something You Wouldn’t Do in Real Life

In any sex conversation, it’s important, to be honest about what it is that you like and what it is that you don’t. Don’t play along and pretend that you like BDSM when, in fact, you are as vanilla as they come. If you find that your sexting partner’s preferences are not quite your cup of tea, simply move on to the next one — there’s plenty of fish in the sea.

Being genuine about your kinks and boundaries is all the more important if you plan to meet up with your sexting buddy in person. You don’t want to end up in a situation that you are not comfortable with.

3. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

Sexting for men had become widely popular among queer guys all over the world. And as long as it takes place between consenting adults, there’s nothing wrong with it. In fact, it’s an excellent way to reduce stress, have fun, and meet new people. So don’t even think about slut-shaming yourself!