Virtual sexting has become an art form. Think of it like preparing a gourmet meal; you don’t have to do it if simply boiling an egg can satisfy your hunger. But you still put the effort in because you know the result will be incredibly rewarding. In other words, knowing how to have sex online isn’t easy, but it can lead to some of the most intense, phenomenal experiences of your life.

But how can you make something as “mundane” as sexting reach that level? After all, at the end of the day it’s just looking at the screen and typing, isn’t it? To a beginner, a guide with “how to sex online” in the title might seem intimidating if they think of it as simply typing some words. But it’s so much more than that. Your mind is a never-ending pool of creativity; you can explore your deepest desires and use your imagination to the fullest for a night of sensual, intense delights.

How to have sex online — sexting tips for beginners

Your potential partner might be a man or a woman. So, before you get into your virtual sexting adventure, you need to know what makes them tick. After all, not all men (nor women) enjoy the same activities during sex, so you have to approach them differently. More importantly, women as a whole are quite different to men. So let’s cover them both.

Texting men: the ins and outs of the sterner sex

Understanding how to have sex online with men is harder than you might think. For example, most men prefer to be rough and take the lead, so extreme and vivid dirty talk with them works. But there are also guys out there who like it gentle. The key is knowing how to approach them.

Before you start sexting, try to get to know your male partner. Let them tell you what their fantasies are, what turns them on the most. If you can, get them to be as detailed as possible. That way you will have a clear picture of what they need. More importantly, you’ll avoid any harmful misunderstandings.

The cardinal rule of virtual sex is engaging the partner. Remember that men are quite visual, so make sure that your texts are vivid and full of strong imagery. For example, don’t tell them that you want to touch or taste them. Use your words in such a way that they will literally feel your fingertips on their skin.

Of course, if you happen to be gay or bisexual, you might have some additional questions regarding sexting men. But honestly, the approach is largely similar. However, you do have one advantage. Since both you and your partner are of the same gender, you have a deeper level of understanding than heterosexual couples, at least when it comes to turn-ons, kinks, and fetishes. The key is to discuss it in depth with your partner before engaging.

Texting women: the balance between gentle and intense

When sexting a woman, try to think of it mathematically. Whatever works for men will most likely be inverse for women. In other words, a minority of women likes extreme, vivid sex talk. Most of them prefer a slow build-up. So, instead of thinking about how to have sex online with a woman, try to approach it as wooing instead.

Women love to feel wanted, but they don’t cave easily. That’s where the art of seduction comes in. When sexting her, let her know how stunning she is. However, don’t just call her beautiful or tell her what you want to do with her. Again, the key is to tease all five senses. Let her feel every touch and every breath by just reading your texts to her. Think of it as extended, detailed foreplay. Once you’ve started building momentum, you can get a bit more intense. But remember to keep track of the story you’re weaving; straying from the “plot” can kill the buzz.

But let’s not forget that there are women out there who prefer the company of the ladies. If you were to look up a few lesbian dirty talk examples on social media or kink forums, you’d know how creative two women can get when sexting. If you’re a lady who’s attracted to women, try approaching her the way you’d want to be approached. Remember that desire build-up is important; a cat-and-mouse lesbian sex chat can end up being a masterpiece of roleplay storytelling.

The importance of setting the mood

Sexting is fun and all, but it’s not something you should take lightly. In fact, an entire relationship can end badly simply because of a bad sexting experience. So, first and foremost, you need to know when to sext. There’s a time and a place for everything and if the partner is not feeling it, don’t push it.

Of course, the same goes for you as well. If you don’t feel like sexting because of something that happened to you that day, don’t do it. More importantly, online sex chat isn’t a place to vent your frustrations. Your partner will feel awkward and even hurt if you try to do that. In addition, you can’t really sext the problem away; deal with it first and come back to your partner when you feel better.

Now, if both you and your partner are ready, it’s time to set the mood. As stated earlier, knowing how to have sex online is an art. More specifically, it’s the art of storytelling. You have a digital canvas in front of you, so you can paint any picture you want. For example, you two can be in an office during working hours or in an empty parking lot. The partner can take up a role of a boss or a worker, a teacher or a student, etc. You can even play up the forbidden love angle if you’re not heterosexual. The only real limit is your imagination. So, don’t be afraid to build your virtual persona up, even if it’s a polar opposite of you in real life.

Make sure you sext in a safe, fun environment

Modern technology is awesome and all, but it’s not perfect. In this day and age, even an out-of-context Twitter message can get you fired or shunned by society. Therefore, you need to be extra careful when it comes to sexting. Make sure that you and your partner are using a secure texting method where nothing might leak. More importantly, be smart about who you’re sexting; if your potential partner appears dodgy, don’t do it.

Now, what should you do if your partner is safe and willing, but the sexting session isn’t fun for you? The answer is simple — just leave the chat. Let them know that you’re tired or that you can’t go on and continue some other time. You don’t have to force yourself to do it just because you don’t want to hurt their feelings or be seen as a quitter. Remember, your own safety and well-being is just as important as theirs.

A few words at the end

Virtual sexting is a craft, and like any craft it requires lots of practice. But once you learn how to have sex online the right way, the world is your oyster. In fact, it’s not uncommon that a saucy sexting session leads to a long-lasting relationship. Use your imagination to the fullest and express your creativity, but always remember to keep it safe and engaging for both you and your virtual partner.