BDSM stands for bondage, discipline (dominance), sadism (submission), and masochism. But let’s talk about the “B” in BDSM.

In a nutshell, bondage is the consensual restraining of a sexual partner (or partners) for pleasure, aesthetics, or both. Ropes and the art of tying knots within the context of BDSM range from simple to dumbfoundingly elaborate. Pieces of hardware and their application are just parts of the bondage concept, of course.

The intention is almost always the biggest factor behind one’s decision to try out bondage. You’re probably here because you want to broaden your sexual horizon—to veer away from your regular sex routine and beyond some mild spanking. You’re also here because of inexperience.

Yes, tying your partner up and limiting their movement seem harrowing or even traumatizing. But you don’t have to go full BDSM with an arsenal of toys on day one. Like with many things, it’s wise to take things slow with bondage.

With your intentions clear, you move on to familiarize yourselves with the basics of bondage equipment and how to use them.

DIY Bondage Gear for Beginners

Starting things light also applies to your budget. Gear specifically made for bondage can set you back quite a lot. If you’re trying it out for the first time, it would be good to give light bondage an initial run using things you already have in the house. You wouldn’t want to invest heavily in toys and then discover that bondage isn’t for you.

Garments

Your closet is a treasure trove of bondage gear. Scarves, bandanas, and even pillowcases work well as hand and feet restraints. They’re terrific mouth gags as well. Just rinse off harsh chemicals from detergents and fabric conditioners first. Any durable and elongated finery you have will do.

Silicone Resistance Bands

Your home gym also has one thing to offer. Also known as tension cords, resistance bands are incredibly convenient starter bondage ropes. They are elastic and usually untextured, making them relatively comfortable for the wearer. Make sure that they’re silicone in case someone’s allergic to latex.

Packaging Ribbons

If you’re the recycling type, you probably have entire bags of packaging ribbons somewhere in your kitchen or storeroom. The ones that come with flower bouquets and cake boxes are the most recommendable since they’re usually silky and smooth. Stick to the soft, satin types and avoid plastic ones. A major problem with ribbons is that they’re very thin, so they’re likely to compact down when tied into knots.

Cotton Ropes

We’ll get into ropes much deeper in a bit, but as DIY bondage goes, you likely have a few lengths of cotton rope in the house. They’re light, washable, durable, and have a decent stretch to them. With cotton ropes, the thicker, the better. As with ribbons, they can be hard to untie if you use thin ropes and the knots get too compacted.

Others

Belts and nylon straps from your gym bag or various luggage are accessible as well. They are, however, not as comfortable as the others mentioned above. They usually have very little elasticity, are mostly too wide and grating, and are hard to tie into knots. But they are viable substitutes if you’re pressed for tying implements.

You may have a few other household items that seem usable for bondage. However, using them might be impractical or doesn’t fall under “light bondage”.

Here are a few examples:

  • Zip ties
  • Electrical Cords
  • Chains
  • Steel wires

Common Types of Rope for Bondage

If you want to be more discerning about what type of rope you use for your first bondage experience, you have several choices, which you can pick up from the store or most online marketplaces.

Natural Fiber Ropes

Cotton, hemp, bamboo, jute, and coconut are the usual natural fiber ropes used in bondage. Here are the good and not-so-good things about them.

Pros:

  • They have good “tooth” or friction, making them grab onto each other better. This also means you use fewer knots to secure your ties.
  • They’re springy and have consistent stretch qualities.
  • Lighter
  • Biodegradable

Cons:

  • They’re more expensive than synthetic ropes.
  • Natural ropes aren’t ideal for home dying.
  • They can cause rope burns and other discomforts, especially coconut ropes.
  • They don’t stretch as well as synthetic ropes.

Synthetic Fiber Ropes

For synthetic ropes, your typical choices are nylon, polyester (mixed-fiber), and parachute or paracord. They have their own set of pros and cons.

Pros:

  • Inexpensive
  • They have a better stretch than organic ropes.
  • You can get them in a lot of different colors.
  • They’re often smoother than natural fiber.

Cons:

  • Non-biodegradable
  • Most synthetic fiber ropes have inconsistent stretch characteristics despite being more elastic.
  • They tend to be more slippery and get more compact, making them more difficult to untie compared to natural fiber.

Rope Construction: Twisted vs Braided

For the most part, rope construction is up to your personal preference. Depending on the manufacturer, both twisted and braided ropes can be bumpy and have a good hold when knotted. Durability and elasticity also depend on the material and the maker.

Experienced bondage enthusiasts and professionals prefer not to mix rope types for the sake of aesthetics. But, as a beginner, don’t lose sleep over how your ropes look.

Knots for Basic Rope Bondage

These are the must-know knots that should get you going on your first jump into rope bondage.

Lark’s Head Knot

The lark’s head knot is more of a foundational knot than anything else. It’s a very simple sliding or collapsing loop knot that’s incredibly versatile.

In bondage, its main use is to extend ropes or to bring body parts closer together. It needs to be closed by a more secure knot. The lark’s head is often a major component of many beginner and advanced ties. Here’s a quick video tutorial on how to make a lark’s head knot.

Square Knot

The square knot is one of the most common and useful knots known to man. It’s the basic principle behind tying shoelaces. It’s designed to close loops and get tighter as the ropes get pulled apart. It is, however, not a load-bearing knot. Watch this video to learn how to make a square knot.

Granny Knot

The granny knot is what people usually end up with if they mess up a square knot. Just like the square knot, it’s a binding knot—used to close a length of rope and gets more compacted when pulled. It’s also considered a “double basic knot”. If you’ve wrapped a package with a string in a hurry, you’ve probably done a granny knot.

The main problem with this knot is it’s difficult to untie especially when you’re using a thin rope. It’s considered crude but it does the job ultimately. This guide will teach you how to make a granny knot.

Basic Bondage Ties for First-Timers

For your first foray into bondage, it’s better to focus on the fundamental idea behind the physicality of kink—restraining or getting restrained.

Save body harnesses, head and hair ties, corsets, etc. for later when you’re more comfortable and experienced.

And don’t attempt load-bearing or suspension ties from the get-go. Stay grounded and master these beginner-friendly ties first.

Lark’s Head Single Column

Use this to spread-eagle on the bed with the hands and feet tied to the bedposts. It’s the tie used in movie or TV scenes when bondage is often being lampooned.

Apart from the wrists and ankles, the lark’s head single column also applies to the thighs, knees, waist, and chest. It’s also the starting point of other simple and complex rope bondage ties. Take a look at this tutorial to learn this tie.

Lark’s Head Double Column

The lark’s head double column tie is, in essence, a rope cuff. Its main purpose is to tie two limbs together. Like with the single column, it works on the wrists and ankles. But you can also mix and match and bind other body parts together.

Use it to tie wrists to ankles or things, knee to knee, ankle to thigh, or even wrists to an armchair. This terrific how-to shows how to tie wrists together using the lark’s head double column tie.

Burlington Bowline

The Burlington Bowline works the same way as the lark’s head double column in that it restrains limbs by tying them together. The difference is that the Burlington allows for a bit more movement by providing a short allowance between body parts.

It’s not as skin-to-skin as the double column. It’s mostly done with the arms parallel to each other at the back, like a reverse arm-crossing. Since they’re considered light restraints, Burlington Bowline ties are great for people with some flexibility issues as well. If mastered, you can do this tie in under a minute! This instructional video will show you how.

Bondage Belt

This one is based on the Burlington Bowline and can be accomplished just as quickly once you get a firm grasp on the basic principle.

As the name suggests, it’s a belt but constructed using a single length of rope with the wrists, forearms, or elbows tied close to the waist or hips. It’s an interesting and simple take on domination. Get to know this easy-to-do tie by watching this demonstration.

Wrap and Cinch Double Column

The wrap and cinch double column tie is a variation of the rope handcuffs and is not much different from lark’s head double column. What sets it apart is the rope that binds the body parts together is cinched in the middle from the outside using even more rope.

Practically speaking, it makes your bindings snugger. Aesthetically, it adds a bit more sophistication to your restraints. This short video teaches you how to do this uncomplicated yet attractive tie.

Extended Lark’s Head Double-Column

It’s exactly what’s written on the packet. This tie is a lark’s head double-column that’s spaced out to about the horizontal length of the torso. The spacer is either positioned at the back or the front. It’s wrapped with the tail of the rope to make it neat and taut.

When used on the ankles or legs, it works as a hobble, which allows the wearer to walk but certainly not run. It’s a fun and visually striking addition to bondage play. This guide walks you through the basics of the extended lark’s head double column tie.

Important Safety Tips for Rope Bondage

Always put the comfort and safety of your partner first. These ties should only restrain movements and not impede vital bodily functions. For example, the wrists and elbows are very sensitive with a lot of important blood vessels and nerves running through them.

Cuffs should be loose enough to fit two fingers through the space between the rope and skin. If someone starts feeling numbness or a tingling sensation, immediately loosen the tie. Always have safety scissors, which are strong enough to rapidly cut through the rope that you’re using, on hand.

Wrists and ankle joints are quite delicate as well. If you’re not sure how you’re going to react to stimulation, minimize the risk of injury by providing enough slack in the tie in case of sudden strong jerks.

Light Bondage Play

You or your lover is tied down. What’s next? It’s time for some bondage play, naturally. In BDSM, there’s always a submissive (sub) and dominant (dom) element among the people involved.

The act of tying someone up is already an act of dominance. Obviously, a bit of light spanking is in order but here are more light bondage play suggestions.

Touch Sensations

You don’t need the best sex toys from pricey specialty shops to get things rolling. Objects as simple as feathers, silk scarves, or even just your fingers and mouth are more than enough to trigger incredible sexual sensations.

You have to take it a bit further in bondage, though. Move slowly from gentle caresses to full tickling. They’ll twist and cringe as they try to unsuccessfully avoid your advances. Make them beg you to stop. Do so then resume without warning.

Vocal Play

Of course, there’s going to be a healthy amount of dirty talking involved. Verbal bondage is a driving force behind light bondage. Use words to assert control over not just your partner but the entire setting.

Issue orders while switching between a commanding, matter-of-fact tone and your bedroom voice. Perhaps tell them to masturbate or suck on your toes. Throw in a few sweet and tender comments here and there to make things more enticing.

Helpless Seduction

With your partner restrained, do things that you know would assuredly turn them on. Maybe start a bit of strip teasing then move on to a lap dance. Rub your body over their erogenous zones. Maybe it’s their ears, neck, or inner thigh.

Soon enough, they’ll be dripping with lust. Make them want to touch you desperately. They can’t, of course. And that’s what makes it delectably agonizing.

Good Old Edging

To the uninitiated, edging is the act of sexual stimulation to the point just before orgasm and then stopping. It’s an excellent sexual activity even outside of bondage.

Bring your bound partner to the brink of completion then back away for a short break. Do it a few times until your beloved practically begs you to make them come. But that’s for you to decide.

Orgasms resulting from edging are much more intense. Even if you’re the dom and not necessarily having an orgasm yourself, seeing your partner’s reaction to finally feeling the potent pleasure of release can be just as enjoyable.

Laugh About It

Don’t worry about breaking character. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve ruined the moment, especially since you’re wading through untested waters.

It’s only natural for beginners to suddenly feel absurd midway through bondage play. Have a chuckle about it. Get it out of the way and jump back in if you’re both still in the mood. You’ll get the hang of fully getting into role play eventually.

Who takes on which role is up to you. If one of you is more dominant in your normal day-to-day life, switching dynamics through bondage may prompt the submissive partner to be more extroverted inside and out of the bedroom.

So you see, BDSM doesn’t merely lead to a more fun sex life but also a livelier relationship in general.

Light BDSM is Built on Trust and Communication

Unsurprisingly, not everyone is comfortable with the thought of being tied down, feeling helpless, and in pain for erotic pleasure. Don’t rush into BDSM without the full consent of your partner. Ensure that you’re on the same page regarding what you’re about to do and you’re both in absolute mutual agreement.

For first-timers, it wouldn’t hurt to list down the specific fantasies you want to explore. Establish boundaries and try not to overstep them in your first few cracks into BDSM play.

Hold back from improvising at first. This is where the concept of a safe word or safe words comes into play. They’re your signal to stop when things start going too far. Know that not honoring the safe word could lead to disastrous consequences.

Thorough research also helps a lot, and the internet is bursting at the seams with bits of information about how to get into bondage. But learning how to tie the knots, knowing what pleasure products to get, and which activities suit you best can only take you so far. Nothing beats first-hand information from people who’ve actually done BDSM play.

If you want to zero in on the nitty-gritty of it, there are tons of BDSM chat rooms online where you can interact with fellow enthusiasts. From there, you can meet beginners and seasoned practitioners alike and immerse yourself in a vast exchange of tips and tricks with the advantage of anonymity.

The massive world of BDSM has a lot of twists and turns. No matter which path you take, always remember that to get the best out of the experience, you must put respect front and center. Never force your partner to do something they’re not comfortable doing.

Tie up and tease with our beginner’s guide to light bondage! Get to know the basics of rope play and the starter knots and ties that bind them.