Have you read the “50 Shades of Grey” series? Have you watched the movies? If you haven’t, you aren’t alone. More than 125 million people bought the first book in the series, and the movies grossed 1.33 billion worldwide.

Although the novels and the movies have been extremely popular, the BDSM reality is a little different. If you think that the 50 Shades series is an example of real-life BDSM, we need to give you an introduction to BDSM.

And if this is your first time reading erotica and would like to get more of it, here are the top sexy novels we recommend.

What Does BDSM Stand For?

BDSM is the acronym for Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism.

It’s a catchall term that covers a variety of topics and practices.

If you practice BDSM, you and your partner may like it when you tie each other up. You may also practice a little light pinching, slapping, or spanking.

There are also people who practice dominance and submission, or sadism and masochism. BDSM style represents a lot of different practices within a culture.

BDSM Facts: The Truths Behind The Myths

Many myths are associated with BDSM thanks to the popularity 50 Shades of Grey. If you’re interested in BDSM, you need to unlearn these myths to uncover the truth underneath.

Myth: BDSM is a new phenomenon.

Truth: BDSM is not new. The culture has been around for at least over 80 years.

BDSM first gained prominence in the 1940s, when pinup girls were the norm and the leather culture began in the gay community.

Also, bondage and submission began to be written about in fetish novels and in true crime magazines around that time. It quickly gained a following, although one that never made it to mainstream until ‘“Fifty Shades of Grey”.

Myth: BDSM is rare.

Truth: A lot of people practice BDSM but their practices look different.

In a recent survey, over 40% of adults surveyed in the UK practiced some form of BDSM. Over 36% of Americans admit to practicing BDSM during sex.

In “50 Shades of Grey”, Christian Grey is seen as a rare phenomenon, but in reality, he’s anything but.

Myth: People who practice BDSM are sadists.

Truth: In “50 Shades of Grey”, some of the actors in the movie are portrayed as sexual sadists. In reality, sexual sadists are not BDSM practitioners.

BDSM culture is concerned with the sexual pleasure of the two partners. It explores the fine line between pleasure and pain. BDSM is not about one person feeling all the pain while another person watches.

For sexual acts to be true BDSM, both partners have to be in agreement of what will happen. There are safe words and safe spaces built in for the protection of both partners.

Myth: Dominants will always be dominants, submissives will always be submissives.

Truth: In the novels and movies, Christian Grey is always the dominant partner, and Anastasia is always the submissive.

But in real-life BDSM and in BDSM chatrooms, the partners switch roles and alternate between dominant and submissive. There are also relationships where the dominant partner acts to please the submissive. Each relationship is different.

Myth: A dominant in bed is a dominant everywhere.

Truth: The movies and novels would have you assume that if you’re dominant in a BDSM relationship, you’ll also be dominant in life. Submissive are also always submissive.

But sex researchers say that dominant people in the “real world” aren’t usually dominant in a BDSM relationship.

One reason that may be true is dominant people get tired of making all of the decisions. They enjoy sitting back and being submissive for a change.

Myth: It’s all whips and chains.

Truth: Christian Grey has an entire room full of naughty things, such as whips, shackles, and chains. There were lots of other instruments used in the red room for torture and pain.

Although there are people and their partners who do inflict pain on each other, it is a controlled pain with lots of safety involved.

The vast majority of people who practice BDSM practice dominance and submission and light bondage or discipline. No whips and chains are involved at all in the majority of BDSM practices.

Myth: BDSM is violent.

Truth: While there may be some violence in the BDSM relationship, there’s nothing spontaneous about it.

Fifty Shades would have you believe that everything about BDSM happens quickly and violently. In reality, true BDSM requires you to negotiate with each other with consideration and trust.

Many BDSM relationships exist for a long time, and partners develop an atmosphere of trust and mutual respect. If you don’t trust someone, it would be very difficult to have them tie you up.

The Takeaway

It’s always fun to play around with BDSM. But before you dip your toe in the BDSM pool, be sure you learn what it’s all about and discuss it with your partner first.